Falling in love and feeling loved in return is a magical feeling. Many of us dream of having a romantic love story, but not all couples survive the challenges that come with it. Most people would say that falling out of love is the main reason why relationships fail, but the truth is that there are many other reasons why not all relationships stand the test of time.
If you are committed to making your relationship last a lifetime, both of you should understand the underlying causes of love gone wrong and how you can resolve these issues.
In this article, we roundup 3 common reasons why love isn’t working for you, and the things you can do to bring back the flame.
Inability to accept your differences
The first few months, or sometimes even years, are nothing but happy moments. It is the time when you put your best foot forward and do everything for your partner. As your relationship gets deeper, you will both realise that each of you is unique and that you have many differences.
What’s important here is to not let your individuality add pressure to your relationship. Never force your partner to change his or her views just because it is different from yours. This will cause conflict and division, and lead to a souring relationship. Your differences should spice up and not divide your relationship. Love is unconditional, true love accepts everyone for who they are and loves them anyway, especially your partner. The key is to accept and love what makes your partner unique (and what makes you unique!) and have mutual respect between you.
Setting standards & expectations
Most people are fixated with the idea that our lover should give us nothing but happiness and pleasure. We almost see our partners (at least subconsciously) as a way to achieve our physical and emotional needs. And when these unreasonable expectations are not met, we get disappointed and this causes difficulties.
True love is all about selflessly giving rather than receiving. We should never be too dependent on our partners, or anyone for that matter. We should live in a state of love and joy. When this happens, we become unlimited and we are able to give unconditional love.
Lack of communication
Having open communication is vital to the success of any relationship. How you communicate with your partner dictates the direction your relationship goes. Most people take communication with their loved ones for granted, not knowing that it is one of the biggest contributing factors to a failed relationship.
When a relationship is just starting, both of you give as much time as you can. As time goes by, things get in the way and it can become difficult to manage your time between your career, friends, and partner. No matter how busy your schedule gets, take time to have regular heart-to-hearts with your partner. Share your daily struggles and celebrate even the smallest wins together. Be open with how you feel and talk things out. Don’t assume they know and it doesn’t need to be said.
Now that we have identified some of the common reasons why love can go awry, the next step is for you to take some time to reflect on your relationships (romantic and otherwise) and think about the ways you can improve them.
Remember, there’s only two options here: either you let love slip away, or, together, you weather the tough times and come out the other side with a stronger, healthier relationship. The choice is yours.